


Hey Monkey

by CuppaTease



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Puns, Famous Louis, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Masks, Non-Famous Harry, Prescription Drug Use, This is ridiculous, hand job action, homophobic slur, no one is this stupid, poor coping skills, sorry about Oli, weed use mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2551853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuppaTease/pseuds/CuppaTease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey monkey, where you been?<br/>Just get the world off your shoulders<br/>And close your pretty blue eyes<br/>Hey monkey, what's life without an occasional surprise?" -Counting Crows </p><p>Summary: Louis and Harry meet at a costume party. Stupidity, bad puns, and attraction happens. Featuring Zayn as a mostly personality-less friend, Lottie as a costumer, and ginger Oli in an unfortunate cameo.</p><p>For Jess, Happy Halloween!</p><p>Disclaimers: This is a combo of a few Halloween prompts found on tumblr. This is my first time publishing 1D fiction. I am not British, nor did I have a Britpicker, so I threw in random words like bloke, lads and quid. I don't even know how to make the symbol for English currency. I have no friends, so I have no beta. Sorry! Also I do not know how to use html in any way, shape or form. </p><p>Warnings: Mentions of anxiety attacks. These are poorly managed and medications are not used appropriately. If this is a trigger for you to read about, STOP RIGHT HERE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Monkey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whitechimes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitechimes/gifts).



“Thanks, Lottie, I think.” Louis twisted and turned in front of the mirror, admiring his profile in the reflection. He’d taken up jogging, and he could see a leaner stomach as a result of his efforts, mostly started due to his embarrassing vomit on the pitch in his last charity game. The main idea was to relieve stress in a natural way, but the obvious increase in stamina and lean muscle was an excellent side effect. He tugged the hem of his black turtleneck down a bit anyhow, and turned again to check out his backside. His little sister’s black leggings clung to him, his round bum fully on view, his thick muscled thighs and wiry calves emphasized by the stretchy fabric. A long tail crafted out of a black knee-high sock stuffed with wads of toilet paper reached halfway to the floor from where it was pinned on the waistband of his leggings. He swung his ass side to side and his tail swung with it, making him laugh. 

“Oh, God, don’t do that, Louiieeee,” Lottie laughed, covering her eyes. “You’ll have to beat all the girls off with a stick. And all the boys,” she added with a grin. 

“That’s everyday, Sissy, don’t you know?” He turned and rocked his hips side to side again, checking to see just how much of his junk was visible through his leggings. He laughed outright as she covered her eyes again and groaned.

“Go away, just go, get OUT,” she demanded, and he pulled his half- mask on, making monkey noises as he scurried out the door and to the waiting cab. 

The mask covered the upper half of his face, he hoped a bunch of drunk uni kids in London wouldn't recognize him by his chin. Maybe his bum. Louis just hoped for a couple hours of fun and anonymity before some fans or haters DID recognize him, then he would slip out and spend the rest of the evening at home alone, as usual, before popping a pill so he could sleep. Who knew being a pop star would be so fucking LONELY? He tried to shake it off. Zayn had promised it was just a local Uni pub and that he would be safe, and people would be cool even if they did know who he was. It was likely to be mostly art kids who were probably not into pop music anyhow, kids Zayn had met when he decided to go back to school and pursue his love of art and ditch his shitty barista job. The very job where Louis had met him 6 months ago while trying to dodge a dozen persistent horny fan girls. He had snuck away from security and was paying the price. Louis was in full anxiety mode, and Zayn had hidden him in the employee room and skillfully lied about his whereabouts. Five minutes later, they were smoking weed out the open window and laughing uproariously. Fast friends, they became.

 

Louis exited the cab outside the pub. A banner stretched over the entrance, announcing a Halloween party including costume contests: Scariest, Sexiest and best Couple’s Costumes. Well, he was certain to be overlooked, being a rather plain monkey. Perfect.

“Hey mate, your better half is here already!” a member of KISS offered in greeting as Louis entered. Louis shot him a puzzled face, which probably didn’t translate well under a mask, and shrugged as he sauntered past, searching the small space for the toilets. He was nervous, alright? Had to take a piss, and also make sure his dick was arranged correctly in the front of his- Lottie’s, he reminded himself- leggings. He did both things as quickly as possible, and headed to the bar, where he saw a familiar looking pirate. He breathed a sigh of relief- even in disguise he was feeling too on-edge for his own good, his heart had already picked up speed and he knew had to calm down. Breathe in, breathe out.

“Lou, I didn’t know you had a date! I am so proud of you. SO PROUD. He’s gorgeous too, a bit goofy mayb-” A cold palm landed itself across Zayn’s mouth, effectively shutting him up.

“Zayn? ZAYN. What the fuck are you talking about? I didn’t bring a date. Especially not a-“ Louis glanced around covertly, before hissing, “Especially not a HE…”

Zayn licked Louis’ palm, effectively freeing himself to speak again. “But I- I saw a banana go into the loo right after you, you’re not together? You didn’t see him?”

Louis gave Zayn his absolute best WTF face. “How much have you had to drink, Z? I didn’t see a BANANA. And I am here alone. You know I can’t really date guys. Like, at all. Never.”

And just like that, Zayn’s face fell. Louis would feel bad for him, if he didn’t feel worse for himself. 

“Oh, Lou. I’m sorry, I just thought maybe you were ready, and I was so happy for you ‘cos seriously this lad is HOT as fuck, and how did you not see him? Maybe he went into a stall to adjust his errr, his thong.” 

Louis shook his head slowly, patting Zayn’s shoulder. “Not ready. Not gonna kill my career this soon in the game. Also, a hot as fuck BANANA wearing a thong. Are you quite sure?”

“You say it like it’s crazy. C’mon. Let’s get pissed.” 

Two beers and 30 minutes later, Louis was feeling much more relaxed. Only one girl had recognized him and asked for a selfie, but it had hardly stood out in a room full of people taking selfies. Louis himself had taken one with Zayn, to post tomorrow. The girl, he thinks her name was Chloe, had promised not to tell anyone if “they even cared, mostly a bunch of hipsters, to be honest” before she re-joined her group of friends. Louis was starting to fully realize the genius level of Zayn’s invitation to a costume party. He had not been this anonymous since he had very first started on the X factor. He’d been an early favorite of Simon Cowell, and as such had gotten more than his fair share of screen time. He had gone on to win, thanks to some lucky selections of pop songs and when he had signed to a record deal, it was for a pop record to appeal to the masses of young female fans that were ardently following him. Now, two years later he was rich, and famous. Which was wonderful, except when you wanted a pint in peace. Or you know, to find a boyfriend. But here, in this pub he would almost not be noticed at all. 

There was one thing that kept happening, though. It had started to get ridiculous.

“Your boyfriend is FIT, monkey boy!”, a girl giggled as she walked by with a couple of friends, who nodded their agreement.

“I don’t have a-” But they had already passed. “Boyfriend,” he finished glumly.

Zayn’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he gazed past Louis’ shoulder, and a grin crossed his face. “Don’t look now, but I found your banana. And he was definitely checking out your bum…”

“Well, who wouldn’t, Zayn?” Louis sniffed, but he cocked his hip anyhow, glancing over his shoulder just in time to see dimples and white teeth and green eyes and the richest chocolate colored curls peeking out from under a banana hat before he heard a deep voice that made him catch his breath.

“I found my boyfriend! Been looking for you…” Banana boy’s grin was cheeky.  
Louis turned more fully around, and his eyes went wide for a second as he took in this boy. Man, really. Banana man. His torso and arms were bare and well-muscled, tattoos scattered across: birds, insects, leaves... all the way down to thin hips clad only in some gold glittery spandex shorts and an actual banana hammock covering his junk. A Borat-style mankini thong in the shape of a banana. Louis tipped his chin up slightly to meet green, green eyes and mostly to avoid looking down anymore. He willed away the burn of a blush he could feel creeping up from his neck to his cheeks.

“Nice costume.” Oh god. He wanted to reach out and grab his words and shove them back into his mouth. His cheeks burned, dammit.

“Thannnnksss,” the banana drawled, as he tipped his head, and then reached up to fix his banana hat that had slipped slightly forward on his curls. An anchor tattoo decorated his wrist, and Louis glanced down at his own wrist, the tattoo of a knotted rope visible where he had pushed his sleeves up. Weird.

“Yours is very appealing, too. Get it? A- PEEL-ing,” Banana man grinned down at him and Louis elbowed Zayn sharply as the other man laughed outright. 

Louis pressed his lips together to try to contain his own smile, failing miserably. “That was awful, just awful, Banana b-”

“Great job, boys! You know there’s a couples contest, right?,” a waitress said, gliding past with a tray and saving Louis from one humiliation and right into another.

“I don’t know him!” he called after her retreating back. 

“Harry,” said the banana.

“Excuse me!?”Louis looked down at himself. His turtleneck and leggings were certainly not hairy. He looked smooth as fuck, which was a good thing as apparently he was incapable of acting as such. And where was Zayn? Zayn had LEFT him. Left him alone with a naked banana. “Zayn left me,“ he pouted.

“My name’s Harry. Harry Styles,” he smiled gently. “I’m sorry. Was that your boyfriend? Did I like.. mess something up?”

“I’m…” This Harry lad didn’t recognize him, so far just the one girl had, and he was not about to fuck that up. It would happen eventually, and there would be more and more photos to take and autographs to sign. “Lou. Or Lewis, but you can call me Lou, its fine, my friends call me that and I mean I guess we aren’t FRIENDS, and NO, no, no. Zayn’s just a friend, I don’t- he is not my boyfriend.” Louis forced himself to shut up, forced his eyes to stay focused above Harry’s chin. 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Lou. Can I buy you a drink?” 

Harry’s hand was warm, and huge, it enveloped Louis’ own cold hand completely as they shook hands briefly. His eyes looked warm and hopeful, and there was amusement sparkling there as well, and in the way Harry’s too wide mouth quirked up at the corners. Louis was NERVOUS and edgy, because he knew what he was feeling. Attraction. Attraction with a capital A. A drink seemed like a splendid idea. He nodded.

“Yay!” Harry cheered softly, turning to head toward the bar. Louis let his gaze slip down, now that Harry could not see him. Ringlets of chocolate hair fanned across the nape of Harry’s neck. His shoulders were broad, strong shoulder blades showing the muscles of a man that worked out, lifted weights, something Louis could rarely bring himself to do, even if it might boost record sales. No doubt he’d sell billions if he had a body like Harry’s. His small waist led to slim hips, a soft hint of love handles above the waistband of the tight shorts, the back of his thong nestled between his spandex-clad ass cheeks, accentuating a small, pert bum. From there down, Harry was all long, long legs. Louis let out sigh. Maybe he could just keep his mask on, get Harry back into the toilet for a quick hand job, blow job, something like that. He wasn’t sure what would be better, those huge hands on his dick, or those plush lips swallowing him down. Suddenly acutely aware he was wearing just leggings, he tried to derail that train of thought before his dick caught up with his brain. 

Fate had other plans as Harry turned back around, two beers in hand and Louis could do naught but watch as Harry basically stalked back to him, a models walk. “Here, boyfriend,” Harry grinned and pushed the pint into Louis’ hand. “To us!” he said, clinking their glasses together.

“To us, the best accidental matching costumes in the whole pub,” Louis agreed. “Why DID you decide to be a.. a..naked banana?” he asked, sipping at his beer. If he was gonna get this kid into the bathroom, he may as well chat him up first.

“‘M not NAKED. I even wore extra shorts so nothing would fall out of my banana,” Harry protested lighty.

“Fine,” Louis conceded. “But why a banana?”

Harry shrugged one shoulder up, “Well, why not? I love bananas. And I thought maybe, you know, I would have shot at sexiest costume, you can get 30 pounds for first prize, and I need to buy more film.”

Louis laughed loudly at that, sloshing his beer slightly as he doubled over in mirth. “Your idea of sexiest was a banana?!”

When he looked back up, Harry was sporting a slightly offended scowl. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’ve had eyes on me all night. In between people ogling your bum, anyhow. But it doesn’t matter, pretty sure the mermaid’s got me beat for sexiest.” He gestures over to a mermaid with small seashells not covering much of her large breasts.

Louis considered this only briefly. “Nah, mate, you’ve got-” But his thoughts on the matter had to wait as he was interrupted yet AGAIN, didn’t these people know who he was? Oh, yeah. He was just one of the crowd.

“OH MY GOD you two are the cutest couple here! You are absolutely gonna win the couple’s prize! Smile!” Harry gave a big, dimpled grin and slung an arm around Louis’ shoulders as Tinkerbell snapped a picture on her iPhone.

“We’re not really-” Louis started, but was cut off as Tinkerbell inserted herself between them. 

“Can I get a selfie, too, please?!”

“Fine, fine.” Louis took her phone and stretched his arm out as far as he could in front of the three of them, clicking the button a few times to make sure at least one came out with him looking somewhat decent, in case these ended up on tumblr later. “But we’re not actually-”

“Thank you so much! I hope you lads win!” She exclaimed, cutting him off AGAIN, as Harry just giggled, GIGGLED, beside them. Tink took her phone back and scampered off to find Captain Hook.

“We should enter the contest! I’ll split the winnings with you, that one is 30 each. Lou, she’s right. We’d win. Everyone thinks we’re cute together!” Harry’s smile was wide, contagious and Louis fought against it with every bit of willpower he had. Which was, notably, not much.

“No, absolutely not.” He shook his head, avoiding Harry’s pleading eyes.

“But why not?” 

“I can’t. I just can’t, sorry, really.”

Pleading eyes turned to understanding and Harry took a step away. “OH. Oh. Okay.”

“No, no. It’s not that I’m not..I’m just..” Louis stepped back closer so he could whisper, “I’m just not really out, right?”

Harry finished his beer, setting his mug down on the nearby high table. “You’re wearing a mask. And I’ve never seen you around here, I’m sure of it. Plus, it doesn’t actually say romantic couple, does it?”

“Harry, I’m really sorry but I can’t. Trust me on this one. I can lend you 30 pounds, if you need-”

“No!” Harry shook his head. “I’m not that bad off, I just thought it’d be fun. But its not fun if you don’t want to do it.”

Louis would have given anything to get that disgruntled look off Harry’s face. He leaned in even closer, shoulders brushing, chin tilted up toward Harry’s ear. “What I was trying to say before we got interrupted, is that you are by far the fittest person here. The mermaid doesn’t even come close. If I was the judge, you’d win in a heartbeat.”

The look of happiness on Harry’s face was worth far more than the 30 pound prize. Far more than whatever shred of willpower Louis had been trying to cling to in resisting Harry’s charms. 

“Thank you, Lou. You, too. The ummm- tights?- fit you well. Not sure why you’ve got this, though,” he added as he pulled Louis’ tail lightly.

“Why not? I need a tail, mate. I AM a monkey, after all. A monkey in his sister’s leggings.”

“Chimp.”

“Pardon?” Louis raised his brows. Again, his expression was hidden behind his mask. he tipped his head for good measure.

“You are a Chimpanzee”.

“What’s your point, Curly?”

“Chimpanzees don’t have tails.”

Louis harumphed and pulled his tail from Harry’s hands.“I can if I want to! What are you? A Zoologist?” 

Zayn passed by, two beers in hand, and witnessed the exchange. “Is he being a diva again? Don’t let him get away with that spoiled brat bullshit.” He bonked Louis playfully on the shoulder with an elbow, trying not to spill his beer. “Lou, Harry here is technically right, you know.”

Louis’ pout increased as Zayn moved on to hand a beer to a pretty blonde. When he turned back to Harry, he caught the other man staring at his lips. Oh. He fought to keep the pout, and the pleasant attention.

“Maybe you can be like, a half breed, a mutant type Chimponkee,” Harry teased, swinging Louis’ tail back and forth playfully before Louis grabbed it, tucking it carefully between his thighs.

“I’m not a mutant!” Louis protested, but grinned despite himself as he caught Harry’s gaze settling on his thighs for longer than is polite. He trailed his hand slowly back down to re-check somewhat unnecessarily that his tail was safe and secure. Harry’s eyes tracked the motion, then met Louis’ playful gaze again.

“I won’t really know till I see your face, will I?” Harry smiled hopefully.

“Trust me, you don’t want me to take this off. Not yet, anyhow,” he amended. “Can we get a booth? I mean, unless your friends are waiting for you, or you’ve got someone else you want to sit with…” 

“I couldn’t leave my other half. Let’s go sit.” 

They slid into a booth across from Zayn and his new friend Perrie, a sweet blonde girl who was clearly enamoured with Zayn. As such, it wasn’t long before Harry and Louis were engrossed in their own conversation as the two across from them flirted with each other, effectively shutting them out. Which was perfectly fine with Louis, as he and Harry went through another round while slowly moving closer together, Harry’s hand eventually settling comfortably on Louis’ thigh. There was an undeniable spark of attraction between them, and Louis wasn’t sure if he was incredibly lucky or bound to be UNlucky as usual. They talked easily about their families back home, football, best places to eat in Manchester, and eventually, inevitably, Harry tipped his head in curiousity and gave Louis’ thigh a soft squeeze.

“So what brought you to London? What is it that you do here? Don’t recognize you from Uni.”

“I umm.. I’m a performer. Or I try to be.” Maybe that was vague enough. “What about you? You were talking about needing film. Art student?”

“Yeah, yeah, photography mostly. What kind of performer are you? Is that why Zayn called you a diva? Are you famous? Is that why you won’t take off your mask? I won’t tell anyone.”

“No. No, not really,” Louis looked pointedly at his glass avoiding Zayn’s intense stare from across the table. “I umm.. I act a bit yeah, and sing. What kind of photography do you do?”

Harry looked.. a bit put off. Louis could tell, but damn it he was NOT ready to be looked at differently by this gorgeous boy. Louis could hear Zayn mutter, “Famously stupid” and he kicked him in the shin, hard. He got an eye roll in return and then Zayn went back to talking to Perrie and ignoring him. Harry was annoyed, and Louis needed to save this. He covered Harrys hand with his smaller one, and squeezed. “Tell me about your photography,” he repeated.

Harrys breathed in, let it out in a long breath, and shrugged one shoulder up. “I like to photograph bands. Onstage, or like photo shoots. I love music, so it just sort of came naturally. Plus I can get into shows for free if I get a press pass to shoot it for my blog or for the uni paper.”

“That’s so cool, Harry,” Louis said sincerely. How he wished he could be up front at a show, in the pit instead of stuck hidden away sidestage or trying to hide in some owner’s box so he doesn’t detract attention from the band playing. It was bad enough that he had mostly given up on going to shows, and that just sucked because going to shows is what made him want to be a singer in the first place. 

Encouraged and temporarily forgetting about Louis brushing off his own questions, Harry launched into a discussion of some bands he had shot lately, Louis recognizing a few of the names like alt-j and The Alvarez Kings. It was immediately clear that Harry had a strong love for indie music in particular, as expected. What wasn’t as expected was a 3 minute monologue on how much he disliked singing shows on TV and how so many people get through on looks and personality rather than actual vocal ability. He had known Harry was ultimately out of his league, but it hurt to hear it so bluntly. Surely that is exactly what Harry thought of him, was probably even referring to him directly. He wasn’t sure if it would even still be ethical of him to go for that bathroom handjob if that’s what Harry thought of him. Zayn and Perrie had slipped away to dance, so Louis excused himself to go to the toilet and pick up more pints for himself and Harry. Mostly, he wanted to end this discussion before his ego was completely shattered.

Once safely in the toilets, he relieved himself and washed his hands, slipping his mask up onto his forehead to wipe away the sweat that was beading underneath. He studied his own reflection for a moment, the tired bags beneath his eyes and faint freckles on his nose. He slid his mask back on, and tugged at the hem of his shirt. Harry was out of his league, and would lose all interest if he knew who Louis was, that was for sure. He took a deep breath and let it go. Right now mattered. Right now, Harry liked his thighs and presumably his personality. Right now, Harry might agree to a quick snog in the dark or a handjob in the stall beside him. He didn’t owe Harry his life story in exchange. Louis squared his shoulders and headed for the bar. Once he had secured two pints, he headed back to their booth, stopping short in surprise at the fucking GORILLA that was seated across from Harry, gorilla head cast aside on the table as the red haired boy in the costume threw his head back and laughed at something Harry had said. 

Louis cleared his throat, setting the beers down on the table as he slid in next to Harry, right up against the other’s warm, naked side. Personal space was overrated. To Harry, he offered his brightest smile, to the ginger gorilla, his eyes shot daggers. Through the eye holes in his chimp mask. Effective.

“Louuuuu,” Harry said happily, leaning slightly into the contact. “Lou, this is Oli. He’s gonna do the couples contest with me, isn’t that great?”

“But you’re not a couple,” Louis scowled, eyes darting between the two. “Are you?”

“No, but neither are we, and everyone thought we were anyhow. Now I can enter the contest and you won’t have to worry about people thinking you’re gay. Seems perfect to me,” Harry offered, his smile slipping by the end as he realized that Louis was still scowling. “Right?”

“I could use the money too,” Oli added. “Seems perfect to ME, and I don’t care if people think I’m with Har-”

“No.” Louis interrupted rather rudely, shaking his head at Oli. “Sorry, mate.” He directed a look at the ginger haired lad that was anything but sorry, before turning to Harry, who was looking between the two now-competing primates. “I was coming back to say I changed my mind, Harry. We should enter it together. With your abs and my arse, we’ll be the dream team.” For added measure, he slipped an arm around Harry’s shoulders and drew him that much closer against his side. Harry was gonna slip through his fingers sooner rather than later, but he sure as shit wasn’t going to lose to a goofy, lanky ginger kid that smelled like weed.

“Okaaayyy, well I guess my would-be boyfriend has changed his mind,” Harry shrugged an apology at Oli, who was already collecting his gorilla hat and sliding off the bench.  
“Your jealous boyfriend,” Oli muttered, shaking his head as he stalked back toward the bar in his furry costume.

Harry’s eyes lit up as he smiled in amusement at Louis. “Were you jealous? Didn’t want to share your banana?” he teased. 

Louis pretended to scowl but it was nearly impossible. Harry’s eyes were clear green and shining with mischief, his lips full and pink, framed by those damn dimples. He gave in to the smile that stretched across his face, letting out a soft laugh as he shook his head, slightly embarrassed, slightly enamoured. 

“No, I don’t want to share my banana,” he repeated, his voice coming out softer than he had intended. “In fact, let’s go outside and get some fresh air?”

“GREAT costumes, sexy boyfriennnnnnndssss!!” someone hollered drunkenly.

“THANKS!” Louis shouted back, as he stood, offering his hand to Harry. 

Harry grinned cheekily, taking Louis’ hand in his and swinging their arms a little as they headed toward the back door, which led to a narrow alleyway. “Okay, fresh air sounds good. But no monkey business!”

Louis groaned, as he pushed the door open. “What kind of sexy boyfriend would I be if I didn’t try to peel those shorts off of you at some point?”

Harry’s laugh rang out, echoing against the brick walls of the dark alley, and he went easily as Louis tugged him into a niche beside a fire exit. “Banana jokes are the best,” he sighed, hooking his arms arms around Louis and tugging him closer.

Louis was definitely on board with that, falling into Harry’s embrace and tipping his head up. 

“I’m not kissing you with that chimp face on,” Harry demanded, and Louis immediately nodded his consent as the younger boy’s hands slipped the mask up and off. Harry barely had a moment to look before Louis stood up on his toes, connecting their lips. It had been months since Louis had kissed anyone other than his little sisters, his mum, Zayn’s cheek. Months of drought, and then Harry’s amazing, full lips, his wet tongue pushing into Louis’ mouth as hands roamed over bare skin and skin tight clothing. Months of nothing, to a kiss that was instantly dirty and needy and everything Louis had been trying not to imagine all night. He unsurprisingly could feel his dick already responding. Harry’s hand slid down his back, big hands cupping his ass to pull his hips closer. When they shifted and his cock pressed up against Harry’s thigh, Harry actually growled deep in his chest and pushed his leg forward to create more pressure, but Louis could feel Harry’s lips curve into a smile against his own.

Louis pulled back for air, glad it was dark so Harry couldn’t see his dark flush of arousal and embarrassment. “God.. I’m- I’m sorry, its just been awhile, and you’re so fit, so fucking sexy, but I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t be sorry, Lewis..I’ve been checking out your dick all night, you can see the whole shape of it through those leggings, and I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you. Can I?”

“Yes, yeah.. god yes,” Louis nodded before attaching his mouth to Harry’s again, and pressing his hips forward hungrily. Harry’s fingers curved around his erection, feeling him through the thin cotton material. Louis was dimly aware that he was breathing heavily, whining into Harry’s mouth at just that contact, and then his leggings and boxer briefs were being tugged down so Harry’s long fingers could wrap around him properly. His hand felt amazing, thumb swiping to spread his pre-come around the head as his fingers worked up and down on the shaft. Louis was praising God for big hands and wet mouths. He brought his hand up to where they were still kissing, removing his mouth and pressing his index and middle finger just past Harry’s lips. The other boy immediately responded. His fingers were sucked into the tightness and warmth, tongue working as though Harry were blowing him. Fumbling blindly, he pushed the waistband of Harry’s spandex shorts down, taking the banana with it, reluctantly pulling his wet fingers from between those sinful lips and wrapping his hand around Harry. Harry was HUGE, fattening up even more with his quick strokes. Somewhere down the alley a door banged shut, and they both jumped a bit but felt relatively sheltered where they were. Louis knew he was too close to stop it anyhow, felt his balls tighten already. 

It was going to be over too fast. Louis would come, and then get Harry off. In an hour the night would be over and that would be that, no more wonderful, sweet, cheeky, gorgeous Harry. Just more lonely nights at home in front of his laptop. He suddenly regretted what was happening because Harry was more than this. He’d just met the bloke and already he was worth far, far more than some lies and an alleyway wank. But Harry was making soft “oh, oh” sounds as though he was close to coming, too, and his wrist was twisting around to stroke Louis just right. Louis shut his eyes and let go, let himself spurt over Harry’s warm palm, shaking slightly as he continued his motions. A few more strokes and Harry came, biting his lip and tipping his head back. He was gorgeous. Harry was almost naked outside in October, and yet Louis was the one shivering, and even though it was bad alley wank etiquette, he wiped his hand quickly on his own pants and wrapped himself around Harry, pressing tightly against his bare skin, his face buried in Harry’s neck. He could feel the younger man’s pulse, fast against his lips, was aware of Harry pulling up first Louis’ trousers and then his own shorts, before returning the embrace. 

Eventually, Harry cleared his throat. “Thank you. That was great, you’re great, Lewis. Should we go back in, or..? The contest may be soon. And its a bit chilly.”

Louis spoke into Harry’s neck. “Thank you, great, as well. Yeah, yeah we should go in. Win us some money, right?” Reluctantly, he let go of Harry, grabbing his mask up off the ground and sliding it back on before they had to leave the darkness.

“From what I can see, you’re quite handsome. Shame you have to cover yourself up in a mask…” It was a not very subtle hint, one that Louis was choosing to ignore. He was pretty good at playing stupid. Or just plain being stupid without trying. Either way, he shrugged and tried to lighten his own mood.

“It just wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the blokes, would it? This arse and this face. Moneymakers.” He wiggled his ass exaggeratedly as they walked back into the pub.

“Way to go, Lou!” Zayn high fived him as they returned to the booth. “I knew you two were made for each other!”

“Shut up, Zayn,” he returned the high five with a bit more force than was necessary, while Harry grinned down at the table, dimples on full display on his very noticeably sex- flushed cheeks. “We just got some fresh air.”

“He got VERY fresh,” Harry supplied, giggling.

Louis covered his face, wishing for another pint. Before that could happen, the pub owner was tapping into a microphone that was plugged into some shitty speaker that was probably older than Harry. He didn’t even know how old Harry WAS. But then, Harry didn’t even know Louis’ real name. The whole evening was pretty fucked up. But with no actual fucking.

“Let’s go, Lewis! Couples contest is first!” Harry grabbed his hand and proceeded to the corner where the owner was. Four other couples joined them, and Louis smiled as he saw Harry sizing up the competition. He really wanted this win. Louis hoped it wasn’t all about the money, because he would gladly give Harry the 30 pounds. Hell, he’d probably give him three thousand if he could. Harry should have everything he wants. He was far too smitten for his own good, writing out loans in his head to keep this beautiful boy happy. He tuned back in, aware the owner was talking.

“...will be determined by applause. I’ll point to each couple and you cheer for the one you want to win, alright? Winning couple gets to split 60 pounds. Are you ready?”

Harry held his hand tightly, dimpling down at him happily as they waited their turn. Louis knew enough about contests to know they were clearly the winners and the owner was saving them for last. Certainly they would beat a zombie wedding couple, two girls who said they were Kardashian sisters, a pair of cats(?), and the couple from that lame movie about cancer and clouds and okays. When the pub owner pointed to them, the cheers were deafening, Zayn was whistling with fingers between his lips, Chloe was jumping up and down with joy, and Harry? Harry kissed him. Harry KISSED him, full on the mouth and the cheers got improbably louder.

“Congratulations to the banana boy and the monkey! What are your names, sons?” he held the microphone out and Harry leaned down, his deep voice echoing in the room. 

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles. And this is LEWIS.”

Louis waved in acknowledgement and nodded, smiling at Harry, who winked at him. Harry was just glowing, and so extremely beautiful, and pretty soon he wouldn’t be able to look at Harry anymore, they would go their separate ways and Harry would probably hook up with Oli the Gorilla-

Two things happened at once. Chloe the fan forgot her promise and called out “It’s LOUIEEEEE! Louis Tomlinson!!” at the same moment the pub owner playfully pulled off Louis’ chimpanzee mask. 

Several years ago, Louis had watched the movie Carrie. He felt a little bit like Carrie, standing at her school dance, crowned homecoming queen and drenched in pigs blood. Only here he was, being stared at by uni students in costume like he was a freak, too ashamed to even look at Harry.

“Guess his last album didn’t sell well enough, he’s gotta try to win a costume contest for cash to buy his crack!”

“Oh my god, can I have an autograph?!”

“Are you really Louis Tomlinson?! I thought he was taller!” A few flashes went off, Louis staring resolutely at the floor. 

“Always knew he was a fag.”

Louis looked up sharply at the last comment, and Harry scowled in the direction of the rude comments, and dropped Louis’ sweaty hand abruptly.

“Hey, don’t say things like that. He was just trying to have some fun, like all of us. And we’re not- he’s not into guys, we’re not together, we just met and I talked him into doing this contest ‘cos I needed the cash, but it wasn’t his idea. So let’s just all go back to having fun and being nice, yeah?”

Harry’s little speech was met with mostly shouts of agreement and requests for selfies, but the blood was rushing through Louis’ veins, pounding in his ears and he turned and headed for the back exit, to the alleyway just to get a few gulps of air and calm his impending anxiety attack. They hated him. Harry probably hated him. The pub owner certainly hated him. He hated himself for being a big fat liar. Zayn would be disappointed in him. His PR team is going to be furious. He lied to Harry. He lied to him, he used him, and fuck it, he didn’t even know if Harry would get to keep the cash. Wonderful, perfect Harry who defended his lying self and stood up for him. LIED for him. 

“Louis?” Zayn’s voice startled him, and he looked up in relief. 

“Just get me out of here, please,” Louis all but begged as he gasped for air in between sentences. “I can’t breathe. I think I’m gonna pass out…”

“Louis, chill. Harry’s not really sure what’s up, you should go back in and talk to h-”

“Get me out of here, Z. Get me out of here.” 

Zayn looked him over more carefully, and nodded. “Okay. Breathe, yeah? You’re FINE, C’mon, let’s get you home.” An arm was wound around his back, helping support him and Louis concentrated on breathing, on matching his footsteps with Zayn and trusting his friend to get him home or to a hospital.

“I just wanted to have fun, and I fucked up, I really fucked it up,” Louis moaned as Zayn tucked him into bed 30 minutes later after having shoved a diazepam down Louis’ throat and forcing him to drink two glasses of water. 

“You are famously stupid, just like I said. Go to sleep. Love you.”

Louis woke up the next morning, wearing tail-less black leggings (Zayn must have thoughtfully unpinned the tail) and no shirt. His hair was matted down with old sweat, and his head was pounding, right behind his temples. He scrunched his face, lips sticking together and tongue dry in his mouth. Louis woke up filled with regret which quickly worsened to dread as he started to wonder what news and photos might have come out as the events of the evening before came rushing back to him. Kissing nearly naked men on the mouth in front of a crowd of people was not a great way to play things straight. Rushing out in a panic attack and ignoring fans and Harry was also not his best moment. Harry. Fit, FIT Harry. Funny, sweet, oblivious Harry. Fuck, if Louis’ life didn’t suck, especially for someone who was supposed to have it all.

Harry Styles. 

Louis couldn’t forget a name like that. It replayed over and over in his head for the next ten days as he sulked and let PR do their thing. Someone had posted an instagram video taken at the pub of Harry taking the blame for the whole ‘couple’s contest and kiss’ situation. It made Louis feel sick as his team made sure that the gossip mags saw and re-posted it. It made Louis feel even sicker when they arranged a date with a minor female celebrity. He barely made it through dinner with polite small talk and a trip through the photographers to a waiting car. He was supposed to be holding her hand. The last hand he had held was Harry’s. Louis didn’t hold her hand, could barely conjure up a weak smile. 

The next evening, Louis called Zayn.

“I already found him, Lou.” the amusement in Zayn’s voice was clear. It wasn’t funny to Louis. Not at all.

“Fuck you. I didn’t even tell you why I called.”

“Thank you, Zaynie, for being such a good pal and helping my stupid arse out,” Zayn said in a too-high pitched whiny sounding voice.

Still not funny. Louis sighed and felt the rest of his pride vanish as he ignored the rather harsh impression of himself. “Please tell me where to find him?”

“He’s got drawing class tonight and tomorrow at 7 PM, with a girl I know, Mary. She said some people were teasing him, maybe being a bit mean and such. He’s not been very happy, I think you owe him an apology and maybe some alleyway sex.” Zayn rattled off an address, ignoring Louis’ sputtering.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. And also, thank you, you arse. Hope you are prepared to pick up the pieces of my soon-to-be broken heart.” It was 6:45 already, and Louis started tearing through his closet for something to wear.

“Dramatic. Don’t forget to grovel, and you will be fine. Don’t worry about the rest, okay? Real fans will love you anyhow. None of the rest of the bullshit matters really, does it?”

Louis nodded, pulling some black skinny jeans off a hanger, along with a cable knit jumper and a beanie to cover his flat hair. “It really, really doesn’t,” he agreed. “Even if I have two fans left after this, you and my mum.”

“And Arnie,” Zayn added not very helpfully before disconnecting.

Louis pulled the tight jeans up and over his ass, donned the sweater and beanie, and got a hint of deja vu as he checked his appearance in the mirror. No Lottie to critique his look, but he knew Harry had gone for his ass and thighs and those were on point. Not much he could do if Harry didn’t like his face. Or, more likely, didn’t like him, period.

It took Louis 20 minutes to get to Harry’s art building, with a quick stop to buy a mixed bouquet of flowers. Maybe he could guilt Harry into talking to him. He was halfway to the address before he realized he had left his wallet. A quick call assured him it was safely locked up, but they were leaving for the day and he would have to pick it up in the morning. Fine with him, as he had no time to go back anyhow. Louis got some double takes from students in the hallways as he searched for the correct studio, but he kept his head held high and tried to politely ignore any looks. It was harder to ignore the anxiety that started to course through him. He could feel it in his heartbeat picking up, his arm hair standing on end, the tightness in his chest. He leaned against the wall and coached himself through 5 even breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. He’d already popped half a diazepam before he had left his flat, so he hoped it’d be enough as he took 5 more breaths and willed himself to get it together. Once he had himself back in control, he turned the doorknob and peeked inside the studio. 

A dozen or so students stood and sat scattered around the room, drawing on their large pads of paper. In the center of the room was a familiar looking ginger lad, stood naked with a hand resting casually on one hip. Oli the gorilla. Every person in the room turned and looked at Louis. Even naked Oli. Louis gripped his bouquet more tightly and felt his face flush as he glanced wildly around, not seeing Harry. Oli was just opening his mouth to speak, when he heard a familiar deep voice coming from the hallway behind him.

“Lou? I mean..Louis?” 

Louis spun around and was face to face with Harry. Face to chin, at any rate. There was a hint of a hesitant smile at the corners of Harry’s pink lips, his eyes wide in surprise but not unfriendly. He was wearing a white T shirt that had some smears of drawing charcoal across it, skin tight blue jeans and tan boots. He looked as good in clothing as he did nearly naked. Louis forced words out.

“Hi, Harry. I uh..I brought you these,” he held out the flowers and Harry took them, his cheeks dusted with a small rosy blush. “I am really sorry. REALLY sorry. There is no part of that night I am not sorry about. Except I mean, I met you. I’m not sorry about that…” he trailed off when Harry started to shake his head, curls bouncing slightly.

“That night was fantastic. I’m not sorry about any of it, up till when you left. But I got 60 pounds out of it since you didn’t stick around long enough to take the cash, so there was a small consolation prize.” Harry smiled, but it was guarded. 

“Is there somewhere we can talk? Please? Just for a few minutes, then you can get back to- that.” Louis gestured in the general direction of Oli. 

Harry’s lips twitched up further at Louis’ ill-masked distaste for the nude model, and he nodded and ushered them to an empty smaller studio a few doors away. Louis fidgeted with the hem of his T shirt as he spoke.

“I feel like I fucked up something that could have been really great. YOU’RE really great, and I wish I had just been more honest, and I understand if you’re pissed off at me ‘cos it was probably a douchey move to hide who I am. I was afraid of being recognized and treated differently, and then I was afraid of being outed,” his voice softened to a near-whisper. “And mostly I thought you wouldn’t like me.” When Louis finally brought his gaze back up to Harry’s face, it was to see a wide smile and those dimples, his beautiful green eyes twinkling.

“Are you kidding? You’re serious right now? Of course I’d like you. What on earth would make you think I didn’t like you?”

“Well you didn’t know who I was. And I’m not very cool and hipster, and I’m not exactly out. And you’re walking around with that body and those curls-”

“I knew who you were, Louis.”

“Come again?” Louis raised his brows, searching Harry’s face for a hint at a lie or a joke.

“LewiS. Of course I could tell it was you. I told you I’m a concert photographer, I’ve shot you three times already, I’d know that bum and voice anywhere, mate,” Harry smiled, wiggling his brows at the mention of Louis’ bum.

“Why didn’t you say something? I was so embarrassed! I feel like even MORE of an idiot now..”

“I thought you didn’t want me to know! I dropped hints, but you didn’t get it! Its not MY fault,” Harry countered. “I even insulted you to try to get you to fight back!”

“No, I didn’t get it, I WAS insulted, and It IS your fault for wearing a damn banana hammock and looking like my boyfriend!” Louis crossed his arms over his chest.

“Its YOUR fault for wearing your sister’s leggings to try to pull!”

“I was just trying to have fun! I didn’t know you’d go for a handjob so easily!”

“You were easy too. And now you REGRET it?” Harry scowled, looking a bit like a disgruntled poodle. He pushed a bunch of curls back off his forehead.

“No! Not like that. I regret that that’s all we had, I would have wanted more than that with you.” Louis’ voice softened along with his stance.

“You wish you had fucked me? In an alley?!” Harry’s brows rose, as did his voice.

“No! I wish I had just asked you on a proper date. I brought you flowers, to try to make it more romantic and such. I hope you’ll consider giving me another chance. I won’t flake out on you, I won’t hide. Would you go out with me, Harry? As a real couple?”

Harry had already started grinning and nodding. “Yes. A thousand times yes. Please.”

“When? After class? Or right now, so you don’t have to be subjected to that naked Gorilla?” Louis gave his best pleading look, hooking his fingers around Harry’s thumb to almost- sort- of hold his hand.

“You’re so jealous of him! It’s kind of cute,” Harry teased, rubbing his thumb over Louis’ fingers.

“I’m not jealous. I just want to be the only bloke you are seeing naked,” he protested. “after a lovely, romantic dinner of course. And maybe a stroll along the Thames.”

“I hate to throw a MONKEY wrench into your plans-” Harry let out an oomph as Louis elbowed his ribcage. “But I’m clearly not a girl. What are you planning to do when people see us?”

“THIS,” Louis said, wrapping his hand around the back of Harry’s head to drag him down into a kiss, interlocking their fingers in the process. The rope and anchor tattoos lined up, but he was too busy snogging gorgeous, fit Harry to notice.

“Fuck naked Oli, let’s GO,” Harry said, heading for the door and trying to ignore how that sounded spoken out loud.

Louis grinned cheekily. “I left me wallet at the florists, do you have about 30 quid I could borrow?”

 

 

 

 

 

“

**Author's Note:**

> This was Harry's costume but without the bodysuit:
> 
>  [](http://tinypic.com?ref=6yib87)
> 
>  
> 
> .......................
> 
> I tried.
> 
> ..............


End file.
